Meet Don…

My name is Don. I’ve been married to my wife for 27 years and we have two sons. In the last two years, I’ve been on an unbelievable journey of healing. I’m the victim of childhood sexual abuse.

This painfully traumatic event happened during a camping weekend. The next morning, I loudly blurted out what he did to me. The entire cabin went silent. No one said a thing. After a few moments, the morning activity continued as though I said nothing. The emotion of this abuse and the inaction of those around me was sealed in silence for the next 40 years. I naively believed I had dealt with this trauma and moved on with my life. I went on to excel in academics and athletics, I dated a few ladies, and in time, I met my wife. We got married and began a family.

Shortly after we were married, I began having tremors during the night that disrupted my sleep and disturbed me. I also found myself having emotional over- reactions to seemingly innocent moments and events. It was frightening. I started feeling a bit out of control. Instead of being a healthy and reliable guy, my world was beginning to tumble.

I found teaching on finding healing from traumatic events. It was like a plow dropped deep into my soul. A few weeks later, I spoke with my mom. The name of the person who had abused me came up and the anger and hate which involuntarily flooded me caught me completely off guard!

It took quite a while to unpack all that had been buried after that terrifying night 40 years ago. With the help of Dr. Peter Holmes, and a safe men’s support team, I was able to work through the emotion and abuse. I learned that traumatic events can get trapped inside us and seep out in unhelpful and exaggerated ways. I allowed those feelings to flood me – terror, shock, betrayal, abandonment, broken trust, fouled relationships, lost innocence and other things – and let them go forever.

I thank the men of the Rapha community who skillfully, tenaciously, and compassionately worked with me through this and other events that haunted my soul. Now it is, as Peter has said, “The healing can be so complete, it is as though it never happened. When the toxic emotion is released, the events are nothing more than empty memories.” This is a gift to me. To live in this freedom is almost more amazing than I can describe.

This healing has brought me new hope and a new life. I now can give hope to others who are seeking real solutions, with real impact, real change, real healing.